…….. of Pain and Promise

written and copyright © 1997 by Ernest A. Botti

*** A Collection of Thoughts and Images ***

The Contents

Good-bye………

Sometimes Tomorrow Doesn’t Come ………

Tears………

Waiting………

I Had a Dream………

Remember………

What are You ?………

Sorrow………

The Search………

Why………

Flickering Candle………

Now………

Grief………

Hope………

Cool Days and Soft Nights………

Flight………

Friendship………

Love………

The Nature of Love………

On Love………

The Measure of Life………

Sunrise………

Happiness………

Beautiful………

Where did the Little Boy Go ?………

The Toy Box………

……of pain and Promise………

Angel of the Dawn…….

The Gray Befor the Dawn……..

A Name on the Wall……..

Good-bye

I kiss your tears, cold, as melted

snow flakes on a window pane.

I close your eyes, never more to see

the sunrise of your birth.

I put my cheek against your brow,

but you are gone.

Gone to the ether from

whence you came.

I press my face against the sky, to follow,

but lost my way among the stars.

Good-bye sweet love;

good-bye.

Love commits the soul

and frees the spirit.

Sometimes Tomorrow Doesn’t Come

I will proceed with haste.

Lest my longing turn to dust,

tomorrow.

And in a little while, I will rest,

rest upon your breast.

Love will find us,

Tomorrow.

We pledge our troth, your hand in mine,

your virgin kiss.

A friend to the one I love,

Tomorrow.

Black clouds, storms of trial and terror,

look down upon the sky.

Now you’ve said farewell,

Tomorrow.

Farewell to the youth we’ve spent.

Sometimes.

Sometimes, Tomorrow doesn’t come.

B sensitive to your feelings –

not imprisoned by them.

Tears

Tears of self pity -

of disbelief.

Tears of sadness –

You taught me

How to love – but

Now I must learn –

Tears.

Love is the only “Human” experience.

Waiting

I watched a summer wind dance among the trees –

And gently turn a thousand mirrors

‘cross the field.

I watched a windward gull and heard its lonely cry

Soaring to the eagles in the sky.

I watched a winter brook – splashing – churning –

Singing its way through winter’s warmth.

I saw the morning stillness rise across the glen –

I wait – I watch – I listen –

For the eternal whisper of your soul.

I wait – I watch – I listen –

For your spirit – wandering – to brush my face

And gently touch my lips.

Emerging reality is the wisdom of age.

I Had a Dream

One cold night – I loved you –

The wind swept the skies and like dust –

Laid diamonds on our window sill.

Moonlight rent the color from each crystal and

Burst a thousand galaxies in my heart.

I held your face in my hands –

I watched your lips say “Love Me.”

One cold night like this –

I laid you down in the cold – cold ground.

Romance is the state of continually

falling in love with your mate.

Remember

Clothed in nature’s grace – revealing symmetry

of love – your eyes held me close.

I kissed your feet – your lips – your face.

Remember ?

The sea danced around the Moon –

And at our feet rushed into the wash

Away the world – and made us one.

Remember ?

Our flesh became love –

And love the sprit of reflection –

And reflection the maker of our soul.

Remember ?

I remember.

Make your fantasy a landscaped reality

What are You ?

What are you ?

Are you he tears of sorrow or the quiet

Explosion of love ?

Are you the melody of rustling leaves on a summer’s

Breeze – or the cold gray of winter’s breath?

What are you ?

Are you the gently ebbing tide – slender reeds

nodding as you pass to the open sea – or the

Searing desert sand – endless – rolling –

Formless shapes?

What are you ?

Are you the wail of a new born – or that tearing -
Rushing wind of death ?

What are you ?

What are you GOD ?

Seek the truth without the sorrow.

Sorrow

The universe is stilled – no breath nor sound.

If I die tomorrow my sorrow is fulfilled –

Should I live – my love is not.

SORROW –

Its measure is chained to the measure of love.

To search for love is to

pluck a droplet from the sea.

The Search

If I look to the heavens –

To the stars –

If I look to the galaxies

Beyond the mind –

I search for the god

of my youth – but –

I am lost in the infinity of time.

Be not disarmed by the vision of a

Dream that was – nor by a fantasy of

A dream you are told cannot be.

Why

Unseen

A wisp from the chimneys come –

Ever widening – searching –

Carried upward – reaching –

Spiraling on an unseen stair –

A fragile veil spread against the firmament

And gentle winds disperse –

How delicate is spun the thread.

Devotion without love is slavery.

Flickering Candle

Flickering candle – parading figures on the wall –

Oh dancing flame – darting – swaying – seeking

Caught in the currents of your own creation.

Oh tiny light – piercing your solitude –

Image beyond the mind – consuming.

Oh tiny flame – your heart is filled more

Than your reason.

Flickering Candle – parading figures on the wall.

Truth is the torch – Love the flame.

Now

Traveling the abysmal space of the time –

From the sorrow of death –

To the hope of life –

Blazoned ‘cross the sky –

An infinity of light –

A phoenix –

But for an instant.

A fragment – a glimpse – a pulse –

A journey eternal – NOW.

As individuals –

If we have nothing else –

We have ourselves.

Grief

Love that was –

Sorrow that is.

Grief.

The greatest gift to

Humanity is ones-self.

Hope

I close my eyes and I see –

In the pathways of the mind –

The smile of life

painting over shadows of the past.

If I had love – I have seen infinity.

Cool Days and Soft Nights

In the embrace of cool days – soft nights –

I find myself at the cross roads –

To taste fleeting moments of love.

To stand in the light of your eyes –

Hear the sweetness of your lips.

To behold the goodness of your soul –

Love is a “Time” – I find myself –

In the embrace of cool days – soft nights.

Be not destroyed by

Your emotional wanderings.

Flight

Free – sweet pain of sorrow –

Freed from earthly chains –

Ever soaring –

Circling overhead –

But nest no more within my breast.

Today’s fantasy is

yesterday’s dream and

tomorrow’s reality.

Friendship

That flower of peace – of love – of beauty.

Its petals are as those wonderful

Souls – passing through my life.

At a glance –

Another petal drifts downward – flutters –

And somehow – magically – is spirited away.

But – the fragrance is everlasting.

Time is but an infinity of

Mirrors reflecting the present.

Love

Love cannot see –

Love cannot speak –

Love cannot hear –

Love is.

Within the drama of human

Relationships – the prelude

To love is the trusting ourselves

to trust.

The Nature of Love

The temper of love is truth –

The fantasy of love is passion – and

The lesson of love is trust.

A lesson well learned for a lifetime –

be a friend to the one you love.

On Love

Love has no form nor shape –

But like the midnight mist is stirred

By gentle breezes – now this – now that –

And in an increment of time wanes.

But the hope from a distant ray paints the

Soul of creation. Look at me – but not

With your eyes. I think the thought of one

Mind – I trust the light of one soul –

I Love.

In any relationship – until each

is aware of themselves relative to

the needs of the other –

no relationship exists.

The Measure of Life

In the measure of life –

Beyond which we comprehend –

Come wandering spirits –

By chance and random course do navigate.

To merge as one – yet separate –

To occupy a common place

And mark the time –

While gentle winds and currents firm

Direct a compass point – unchained.

In the measure of life –

Oh! Are such few souls blessed.

Caring is the objective side of loving –

One without the other is unstable.

Sunrise

The Lord took the blue from your eyes –

And painted the sky.

He heard your voice – and gave

It to the whispering wind.

He felt your spirit and sent it soaring

with gulls aloft.

He took the red from your hair - and

Blazoned the sunrise of a new day.

Happiness

Each day a pearl

Pierced by unseen hands – silently

With thread of gold –

Bridging each island in time.

Beautiful

Beautiful – Is the blue sky in your eyes

The toss of your head

Your hair across your brow.

Beautiful – Are your lips to touch

To kiss

Too smile.

Beautiful – Is to watch you walk

To pluck a sea shell from the shore

A moment of wonderment – more

Radiant than the sun.

Beautiful - Is to hear your voice

To hear my name – and

Laughter – cascading through time.

Beautiful - Is the stirring of silent thoughts

The touch of your hand

A tender embrace.

Beautiful – All – All are you.

I

I hear - The sea upon the shore

I see – The sun across the land

I speak – As whispering winds among tall pines

I think – Of expanses beyond the mind

I kiss – The kiss of spring

I touch – As petals from a rose

I love – I love for all time.

Where did the Little Boy Go ?

Where did the little boy go ?

Out back in the Cherry tree – a favorite

Spot you see-

Now to the front on a summer sled – a card

Board box – lemonade for a fee.

Where did the little boy go ?

Down to the brook where the big kids go –

A Tarzan’s swing on a dare – foraging

The dump for a treasure – ah! -

A big rat’s lair.

Where did the little boy go ?

Hopped a ride on the milk wagon –

Cool ice for a summer treat –

No nickel for a Crown Cola to beat the heat.

But - Where did the little boy go ?

Down to the school yard – big fight – mighty blow.

Little boys do that – sometimes – you know.

Where is the little boy - Where did the little boy go ?

To the river – a friend – quiet times – to fish –

Too pray – would that it could always be that way.

Where did the little boy go ?

To war in a far off place – he’s a man –

His country called – an embrace.

Did the little boy go ?

The little boy has gone –

Gone to the sunset in the Great Green Forest.

The Toy Box

“Christmas Past – Christmas Present – Christmas Future.”

Memories – a view into the past – winding stairs –

Dim lights – a door – creaking hinges – invasion of

Times gone.

Attic treasures to retrieve – under an eve – a Toy Box.

Deliberate steps froth with trepidation – why now ?

A magic place – my hand on the lid – The Toy Box.

Raise the lid ! – Scenes of Christmas past –

Heavy is the chore.

A ball – small hands to grip – summer sights

At the beach –

Sail boats for captains of the sand – Pirates to repel.

What is this ? Tin soldiers on parade – Where are

My cannon, Captain ? Ah! Strike the enemy – we will prevail.

Comes the Great Northern – stroke the engine.

Here’s a block – stock of the mighty Pine – “A” then a

“B” – what comes next – a “C” ? Put them al together.

A babe to care for – Little Mother, rock-a-bye.

bake me a cake and cookies too – a stroll to the zoo.

Told by a Toy Box – of trains and trolls and

Little girls tresses – of balls and bats and

Little boys battles.

Stories from a Toy Box.

……of pain and Promise

“GIVE ME YOUR TIRED, YOUR POOR,

YOUR HUDDLED MASSES YEARNING TO BREATH FREE,

THE WRETCHED REFUSE OF YOUR TEEMING SHORE……”

Nature’s potter’s wheel – magical hands shaping –

Forming – “From Sea to Shining Sea.” Unscarred landscapes –

Virgin lands untouched by violent thoughts.

Behold – a great flame in the firmament –

One with the land – the ocean too – lying in wait –

Transit the heavens – I awake – sylvan shores.

Stirring – creatures thread their way – I am

Restless ‘neath their feet – peace vanishes from my face –

….of pain and promise.

Witness the flow – vast prairies – lofty promontories –

I am captured – no returning. They scratch upon

The earth – moving as spectacular seas – following

the wind of the Sun. Some are laid in the sacred places –

I must tell – with a flash of a night intruder

They are gone – all. Huddled in my great hall –

Thanksgiving is DEAD! Silent are the drums.

Now two cross my brow – never to meet – those of

Sallow reflection in retreat – treacherous treason.

I tremble – Snow of the Summer time – Black Faces.

Thunder in the sky – Born of Man – I am “Discovered.”

AMERICA …..of Pain and Promise.

Angel of the Dawn

Day succumbs to falling shadows –

Windows of the night sky

Flash their brillance and

Fence with the cosmic wind.

Reality skirts my vision –

A silent passage.

I witness endless horizons

Framed by the eyes of innocence

Filled with illusion.

Darkness descends –

Threading my way through

Memories of life's moments

Of tragedies and triumphs –

Of loneliness and LOVE –

I become a visitor in my dreams.

I struggle to wake – to shed this

Fragment of time – this

Spiral of slumber.

The light of Day will not be denied –

The morning mist disperses

Moonbeams in retreat.

A miracle of majesty

Glides 'cross a dew draped lawn –

'tis HOPE – ANGEL OF THE DAWN.

The Gray Before the Dawn

The mist hangs like a dirty drape -

Formless shapes struggle to escape -

Lying on my back - stands of water on three sides. Swirls - like tidal pools when I was a kid -

Life teeming in a little world -star fish -squid -

Sand all over my weapon - none to play with.

My boots are wet - my feet are cold -

What am I doing here -am I to grow old?

Thunder in the sky - planes flying by -

Can't see them -clouds hung out to dry.

Don't sleep much - we're in for a big one -

Waiting for the dawn - waiting for the Sun.

This is an odd place -

Everyone with the same face -

Can't drink the water - rations are poor -

Bed down at night - the earth for a floor.

Complain? - can't do that - my choice - I enlisted

Could have listened to the old folks - as they insisted.

Mortar rounds screaming overhead -

Sickening thud! - giant craters - filled with the dead.

Had a girl back home -she's waiting -

Last moments - gave her a gentle kiss - parting.

I thought that I would be forever young -

But within a week my hair turned - I've been stung.

The Sun is up - parting the Gray

We are sons and daughters of prey -

Our minds buried in this mire -

Here they come! - HELL IS ON FIRE!!!

A Name On The Wall

When Johnny was just a little boy He'd call on me for tea -

We'd sit for hours lost with joy And wondered what life would be.

Johnny was only a doorknob high And I a keyhole measure -

We'd hold each other and with a sigh - Savor our hidden treasure.

The years were swift and Johnny has grown And I'm a lady too -

Autumn winds the leaves have blown The skies are azure blue.

Johnny heard the clarion call -

Now Johnny's become a name on THE WALL